My journey in healthcare began in psychiatric care during my teenage years, where I discovered my passion for bringing laughter and compassion to those in need. A important turning point in my mission arose when a loved one struggled with addiction and it became very critical. This challenging time taught me the importance of allowing him the space to navigate his own healing journey and become aware of my savior syndrom. This experience instilled a deep respect for autonomy in me and the need for equality-based approach, particularly when supporting individuals in challenging mental states. By healing himself, in his own way, he inspired me to explore holistic approaches to healing, honouring the mind, body, spirit, and environment as interconnected forces.

Since 2016 my spiritual journey unfolded gradually, guided by the transformative power of psychedelics, began as experimenting with psychedelics, but led to profound insights about destructive patterns I had, allowing me to remember childhood trauma, to be a able to feel through it - and heal it. I had a calling not only as a seeker but also as a guide for others, I developed a heartfelt connection with psilocybin and rapé, my preferred medicines to work with. 

Stepping into the role of guiding ceremonies, I finally found the purpose and courage for my strong desire to sing. The singing of medicine songs and drumming became an integral part of the ceremonies I lead. 

I also discovered an ability to channel intelligent beings. Energies that flowed naturally during ceremonies and every now and then, with the use of psychedelics or when I feel open and connected. This connection with spirit allows me to cleanse the energy in the space, raise my own frequency, and support others by helping them release darkness.

Dance has always been a way for me to release energy, understand my self better and to integrate experiences. Over years the dances became more spirited. When psychedelic's softens my edges, dissolves control, and the more I surrender, the more spirit moves through me. Sometimes it’s subtle, sometimes overwhelming, it all depends on how deeply I let go and on the strength of the dose. Through shaking, spiraling, and flowing, the energy begins to move clearing, cleansing, realigning. As my system becomes lighter and freer, I grow more aware of my aura. With the support of greater forces, I am being danced and becoming more aware of energy work.

In addition to my work in regular psychiatric healthcare, I initiated a mindfulness group in the First Psychosis team in 2022, driven by a desire to bridge mainstream psychiatric healthcare with a holistic approach. This group I guided sparked a interest in the nuances between psychosis and spiritual emergence, because the participant showed especially the need to share their spiritual experiences.

In 2024, I became a spiritual emergence coach, educated by Emma Bragdon. This new role enables me to guide individuals one-on-one and hold space for support groups for spiritual emergencies. I continue to work as an ambulatory psychiatric nurse, where it has become my mission to reintroduce the knowledge of holotropic states and spiritual emergencies into mainstream psychiatric practice. 

As part of this commitment I provided clinical teaching for my colleagues, addressing their curiosity by teaching about the differences between psychosis, holotropic states and spiritual emergencies that can unfold, highlighting the importance of recognising these differences in caregiving. By blending conventional methods with mindfulness and an awareness of spiritual dimensions, I hope to bring a more holistic and informed approach to mental health.

In 2024, my world was turned upside down with a shocking diagnosis of type 1 diabetes. After months of persistent coughing and unsettling symptoms, blood tests revealed my blood sugar levels were extremely high. This revelation marked the beginning of another transformative journey, one that at first challenged the trust in my body. 

As I navigated this new reality, and learned more about auto-immune disease and I was struck by how environmental toxins and accumulated stress in the body could contribute to diabetes. The idea that such hidden factors in our air, food and cosmetic products, could play a critical role in my health was both alarming and enlightening. Determined to regain control, I embraced a detox-focused approach to healing. The GAPS diet became my foundation, emphasising the vital connection between gut health and autoimmune responses. I recognise that this path requires a steadfast commitment, with at least two years of dedicated effort ahead of me. In my quest for healing, I am exploring various methods to detoxify my body. Despite some skepticism from my medical professionals, I’m thrilled to report that my blood sugar levels have stabilised, and I’ve even been able to eliminate my reliance on short-acting insulin.

2020 we bought off grid land in Porugal, because my husband Lennart and I were drawn to a simpler, more connected way of living. Embracing the teachings of the land, we are slowly cultivating skills in herbalism, carpentry, gardening, and animal care, laying the foundation for our dream home and a sustainable lifestyle immersed in nature. Half of the year, Lennart, my daughter Aïsha and I retreat to our off-grid home and the rest of the year we live in vibrant Amsterdam. The greatest joy in life is our daughter, Aïsha, whose laughter and growth serve as a constant reminder of the beauty and potential of being in the present moment. 

From april ‘25 I am a student in the Grof Legacy training in Tjech.
Since the start of the Training, I have been working with a shadow aspect of my personality: the deep urge to belong and to adjust myself to whatever others like or expect of me. This strong need for approval was present in nearly all of my actions. It overshadowed my more authentic “outcast” side, the part of me that resists blending into the grey mass. In truth, I feel like a colourful peacock. And if I do not accept my flamboyant, loud self, I will not be able to live my full potential.

I discovered that the root of this lack of safety lay in a trauma I carried with shame and guilt for many years. With the help of psychedelics, it became possible to remove the heavy carpet. Since then, I have had many transformative insights, especially about the relationship between my leaky gut in my early years and how it connects to my diabetes type 1, I developed later in life. In the last trainingsweek for holotropic breathwork, the work led to a kundalini awakening, which left the gift to feel energy rushes when truth is spoken and a renewed sensitivity and curiosity to work more actively with energy.

I believe that shadow work is essential for therapists. Only by fully accepting our own shadows can we avoid unconsciously judging the darker parts of the person we are facing. Even if we don’t voice these judgments, they are still felt energetically. To be fully present in acceptance with clients, I aim to remain unbiased and curious, listening deeply to their experiences. For me, honest and deep connection without judgment is a proper foundation for successful treatment, way more important than the method or techniques.